The College Application was a sprawling, months-long (actually years-long) odyssey full of surprises, spreadsheets, and emotional ups and downs.
And if you’ve ever wondered why your teen’s eye twitches every time you say “portal”—well, here’s why.
PROLOGUE: The Prequel Nobody Mentions (But Everyone Lives Through)
Before anyone writes a single essay or visits a single campus, there’s this:
- Pick a high school. Public? Private? Magnet? Homeschool pod in the forest?
- Learn how GPA works… after a C in freshman Biology.
- Take the “right” classes—even though they have no idea what they want yet.
- Join clubs. Quit clubs. Start clubs. Forget to go to meetings.
- Volunteer for something because “it’ll look good.” Stay because you love it.
- Make a spreadsheet for classes. Ignore it. Panic when the counselor says, “UC eligibility,” and Speech and Debate doesn’t count.
- Try sports, theater, robotics, or any activity that takes up all your weekends and keeps you away from family reunions and your favorite binge shows.
- Build a personality. Rebuild it. Repeat. (Adolescence, basically.)
ACT I: Before the Curtain Rises
The junior-year ramp-up. It begins quietly… then takes over your lives.
- Take the PSAT. Decide if it matters. It might. It might not.
- Research test-optional policies like a conspiracy theorist with a whiteboard.
- Create your first “college list.” Feel accomplished. Then revise it 47 times.
- Plan a “perfect” class schedule that meets:
- UC A–G requirements
- Common Data Set “recommended” boxes
- That one school that wants 4 years of Latin and interpretive dance
- Ask for letters of recommendation and hope teachers remember you fondly. (Don’t forget the BRAG Sheet on top of the three essays that need to be tackled.)
- Build a resume. Format it. Scrap it. Rebuild it in Google Docs. Parents notice the student forgot five critical activities.
- Attend virtual tours. Zone out during the housing slideshow.
- Visit campuses coast to coast. Somehow, they all blur into one endless loop of brick buildings, enthusiastic tour guides, and “flex dollars.”
- Start Googling “demonstrated interest.” Realize it’s a full-time job.
- Meanwhile, parents quietly build a spreadsheet titled: COLLEGE MADNESS MASTER DOC V3 FINAL.
BEHIND THE SCENES (a.k.a. The Parent Portal of Panic)
- Worry about future ROI when your teen picks “Undecided” as their major.
- Pray your child shows interest in something—anything—other than TikTok.
- Bribe them to attend college rep visits with iced coffee from Starbucks.
- Practice your best “I’m totally not anxious” face at every college info night.
- Read forums you know you shouldn’t read.
- Whisper “holistic admissions” like a mantra.
ACT II: Essaypalooza
You thought you were done after the personal statement? Hilarious!
- Brainstorm personal statement ideas. Face the fact your child never had “challenges to overcome.”
- Watch your student write a draft. Hate it. Rewrite it. Cry. Repeat.
- Encourage them to find a voice that is honest, reflective, and not cliché.
- Translate “Why Us?” into 250 words without sounding like a brochure—or using ChatGPT.
- Keep track of which college application supplements each school wants—and which ones changed their prompts at the last minute. It happens.
- Answer “What’s your favorite community?” and suddenly question the entire definition of community.
ACT III: College Application Logistics (The Portals. Oh, The Portals.)
- Common App. Coalition App. UC App. ApplyTexas. Slate. Scoir. Naviance. Xello.
- Set up 11 portals. Lose 6 passwords. Reset 5 of them.
- Fill out the family info section. Realize you don’t remember your own ZIP code.
- Send transcripts. Confirm they were sent. Check again.
- Match test scores to schools. Worry you matched them to the wrong ones.
- Review every app before submitting. Find one typo. Panic. Submit anyway.
ACT IV: FAFSA, CSS & the Financial Aid Maze
- Make an FSA ID. Get locked out. Start over.
- Fill out FAFSA and CSS Profile. Question your life choices.
- Upload tax documents. Hope your accountant answers emails this year.
- Search for merit scholarships—and realize some require essays and a full genealogy.
- Attempt to explain the Expected Family Contribution to your partner. Give up.
ACT V: The Waiting (and the Refreshing) Period
- Set up yet another portal to track decisions.
- Refresh email. Check spam. Refresh again.
- Pretend you’re not obsessed. Totally fail.
- Celebrate an acceptance. Grieve a denial. Repeat.
- Make a final decision. Feel relieved. Then terror. Then joy.
THE REAL POINT:
It’s Not Just About College
It sounds like the plot of a slightly unhinged comedy:
Spreadsheets. Portals. Emotional whiplash.
But these are the real, everyday moments families live through—all the time.
And underneath the chaos?
- Executive function is getting forged in real time.
- A story is beginning to take shape.
- Resilience is built one draft, one rejection, one “submit” click at a time.
- Self-advocacy is practiced in counselor offices and awkward emails.
- Independence is growing—not because we pushed, but because they stumbled into it.
What if College Applications aren’t just a slog, but a rite of passage?
What if every missed deadline, password reset, and late-night essay meltdown is scaffolding—layering strength into the person they’re becoming?
And what if our job as parents isn’t to steer every step,
but to shift from micromanaging to mentoring—
to trade the nag for the nudge,
and to trust the growth we can’t always see happening in real time?
Share this with your friends. Let them know they’re not alone.
We’re all doing our best in the messy middle. Breathe.
Want help building a nudge-not-nag plan for your teen? That’s our sweet spot.
Tell us your story and check out Academic Services for EXTRA support.
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Laura Barr is a deeply experienced and passionate college consultant, founder of Emerging Educational Consulting, and creator of the Capstone Certification program. She’s dedicated to helping families and professionals navigate the College Application process with simplicity, deliberation, and joy. Want to learn more about our services? Tell us your story!
